The first one
by Maria - Madoka Ayukawa
Summary: Ryoma Echizen was one very big influence in Sakuno Ryuuzaki's life, and she says so herself... Strong angst, death fic, kinda AU. Written for the 30 Angsts community in LJ. ONESHOT!


_"The First One"_  
Fandom: Prince of Tennis  
Author: Maria  
Pairing/Characters: Ryoma/Sakuno, slight Ann/Momoshiro.  
Warning: Kind of AU. Angst, death.  
Rating: PG-13 for a small limish paragraph.  
Disclaimer: Konomi's!

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_Meaning of the Black Roses: Death, Hatred, Farewell. Mostly used at funerals...

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You were my first in everything.

My very first crush. I met you in the train when you stopped a guy from flinging his racket annoyingly, but back then you didn't really notice me sitting real close to that person and almost trembling in fear from being hit. Few later you asked me where the court you wanted to go to was, and I tried to help you - but I gave you the wrong directions, so I got you into trouble. And even then, I was already awed of you being so cool, so self-assured despite being so young... With all of your victories confirming my good first impression.

My very first kiss. After years of admiring you and being your friend (and several days where Tomo-chan would tell me "Just kiss Ryoma-sama already!" many times in a row), in our junior high graduation I gathered the courage to tell you that I loved you. You thought it was a joke, though, and were this close to dismiss it.; but I was quicker, and with the courage coming from despair I grabbed you by your jacket'ssleeve and tried to kiss your cheek. When you tried to evade it, you failed - and the 14-year-old who was so quick in the tennis grounds, had his first kiss on the lips stolen by one of the clumsiest girls in Seigaku. So much for irony.

My very first boyfriend. Our dates weren't the most typical ones (tennis courts, the beach, the sport stuff shops...), but they did exist. And I found myself blossoming in them, in a sense - you would allow me to take the lead at times, and whether it was because you didn't know what to do with me or because your father and Momoshiro-san told you to do so, I did enjoy it, and kinda thank you. My self-esteem said so.

My very first lover. Yes, that was my first time too. In Fuji-san's bedroom, few after we wished him a Happy Eighteenth Birthday along with our other friends, I gave myself to you as much as I could, and so did you. We were foolish, young, almost drunk, and horny - all at the same time, and it did show. I don't think I can't talk a lot about it;I still get lost in the physical sensations that I can recall... your hands on my body, mine on your skin, your lips kissing me, how we moved together as we made love...

My very first heartbreak. I remember the day you told me you and Momoshiro-san would definitely go to live in the States, due to your blossoming career as doubles players. I couldn't go with you since I was still in college, so I begged you to think it over, but you said you couldn't since it would bring trouble to Momoshiro-san. I screamed, I begged, Icursed... and nothing was enough to make you change your mind. You just didn't say anything, just looked at me while I sobbed sitting on our... no, my bed, refusing to believe that you had chosen tennis over the project of life we were building. You just murmured "I'm sorry, Sakuno..." and tried to caress my cheek, but I slapped your hand away… and then you left me there, clinging to my sadness as you walked away.

And now, you're the very first person who has died on me. My grandomther and Tomo-chan told me, even before I watched the news, that you and Momoshiro-san got killed in that horrible traffic accident in San Francisco, when a Porsche hit the motorcycle you two were riding. At least both the car driver and Momoshiro-san died in the very moment of the crash, but you bled to death on the streets while the people around were trying to save you...

Your parents, Nanako-san (with Karupin in her arms), my grandmother, Momoshiro-san's girlfriend Ann Tachibana and her older brother, and Tomo-chan are now by me. None of them can cry anymore. I can barely feel Ann-san's hand on my shoulder, and Tomo-chan's voice comes form far, far away.

I almost hated you for a whole year because you left me on my own. You ended up deserting life in the very moment you and Momoshiro-san had that accident. And I wasn't there to bid you two farewell.

So, I'm now leaving those black roses on your gravestone. Ann-san and Tachibana-san left a bouquet of white and red ones on Momoshiro-san's, and now I'm doing likewise. I don't know if the floral language will really admit this in its code, but by now I don't care. Because the roses are dark... and they're painted in the same color of my heart.

Good-bye, Ryoma Echizen. For everyone else but us, you were the Boy Genius of Japanese Tennis. But we came to know you as someone with his ups and downs, a boy who played tennis like almost no one else in the world...

And I knew you as the man who was my first in everything, and will always have a special place in this heart of mine.


End file.
